• Posted by Cathy
  • 07 Jul 2010

I’m having one of those days today where I feel cheated. I feel like my life has been robbed by this IC. And I’m feeling like why me? I had plans, I had ambitions, and IC has taken them all and made them into nothing. It’s true I’ve made new plans and have new ambitions but sometimes it’s so hard to let go of the old ones. The IC couldn’t have hit me at a worst time in my life. I had my life with my friends, I was living in a good place, I had a good roommate, I had the perfect job. My dream job, I had finally got the job I wanted so much. Then my IC got so bad and I had to go on disability. I’m now on permanent disability, living with my parents because I can’t totally take care of an apartment or household or myself for that matter right now. It just kills me that this has happened to me. I hate it that this has happened to me. IC takes your life away and ruins any plans you ever had. I had planned on getting married and having kids by this time in my life. Right now, the way my body is I know I couldn’t carry a child right now. All I’ve ever wanted to be is a teacher, a mother, and a wife. All three of those things have been taken from me by IC. IC is a wicked evil disease that just takes from you emotionally, physically and destroys you from the inside out. I mean we can be strong as strong as we can be. Strong for our IC sisters and brothers, strong for our family and friends. Sometimes we need a strong shoulder to cry on, and an ear to listen. I have that in my family, friends and IC sisters, and this website, I’m fortunate. But sometimes there are things that are so hard to try and explain the way you feel, you just can’t explain it to people in a way that would make sense to them. I’ve probably repeated myself a ton of times in this post, but I hope you get what I’m feeling and just know, when someone you know isn’t acting totally right, like themselves, they might just need time to themselves to mull things over or they might need someone to listen.

I want to share with you a poem that came on a card my very best friend from college gave me. She’s such a good friend she missed work for 2 days and came to see me when I was having my surgery. She’s also told me that she tries to imagine the pain I go through, so she can understand what I’m going through better. She’s my very best friend and a sister to me, she’ll always be my sister, no matter where our lives take us. She gave me this card after I was home from my surgery. When I read this card I cried, and when I have days like this I read this card to remind me just how strong I am, and it explains things in such a good way that it will help all of you when you’re having a why me, I feel cheated day.

“The Oak Tree”

A mighty wind blew night and day.

It stole the oak tree’s leaves away,

Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark

Until the oak was tired and stark.

But still the oak tree held its ground

While other trees fell all around.

The weary wind gave up and spoke,

“How can you still be standing, Oak?”

The oak trees said, “I know that you

Can break each branch of mine in two,

Carry every leaf away,

Shake my limbs, and make me sway.

But I have roots stretched in the earth,

Growing stronger since my birth.

You’ll never touch them, for you see,

They are the deepest part of me.

Until today, I wasn’t sure

Of just how much I could endure.

But now I’ve found, and thanks to you,

I’m stronger then I ever knew.”

Author not named

This poem helps me so much during my bad days. I hope that this poem will help you as well.