• Posted by Cathy
  • 30 Nov 2008

My surgery dates got changed again!!!! This is the third time! I’m tired of being jerked around like this, I’m tired of being like this….I want to be “normal” again. I want to be able to walk normally, not have to take so many pills, or spend my days off lying on the couch with a heating pad recuperating from having to work for 5 days! I want to be able to live my life pain free again. I want to not have to watch the clock to see when I can take my next pain pill and have a little bit of the edge taken away. I want to be able to make it through a day without having to take a nap because my medication is making me so tired that I can’t go on anymore. I know this is a lot to want but it’s just wanting to be like a normal human being again. Is this really too much to ask? I’m so frustrated by this situation that every time something happens that’s not according to plan I have a mental breakdown! That’s not the way it’s supposed to be! I’m not supposed to spend hours crying because of a procedural change or because I messed up something. It’s not normal! I don’t even know how to define “normal” but I bet it’s not what I’m going through. The Lord must really think I can handle a lot because He sure is laying a lot on me at once. So since I haven’t written one in awhile, here is my prayer for today…Lord, let me win once, let me get this procedure done and over with. Please Lord let it work, let me feel like a human being again. Please take a little bit off of my plate so I can feel like I can at least make it through another day. Carry me through this Lord because I sure can’t walk through it alone. Amen

Written November 30, 2007

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