• Posted by Cathy
  • 16 Aug 2010

Scars, scars, and even more scars. Some scars tell me where I’ve been. Those scars are painful yet they are also a comfort to me as well. I’ve known what happened with those scars, and the pain I endured while those scars were fresh. Those scars tell my story up to this point; they say where I’ve been and what my life and IC was like then. Now I have new and fresh scars. Scars from my neobladder, BIG scars, the biggest scars I’ve ever had. I have one that is 7 inches long, which creates a new me, and the other is 3 inches long, and that is there to cover up what had been and where I have been for the past 2 years.

These are the scary scars. The ones that come with doubt, fear and uncertainty. Will I stay at a low pain level? Or will my IC shadow come back with a vengeance? Was this surgery a mistake, and will it make things worse then what they were before? There is the possibility that I will get worse. But so far I’m feeling good my, my quality of life has already improved tremendously so that is telling me I didn’t make a mistake in deciding to have this surgery

So where will these scars of uncertainty bring me? There are only 2 ways it could go, good or bad. So we’ll see how it goes from here.

Written 1 month after neobladder surgery

 
 

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